Paranoia
by girlwithgauges
Summary: Larxene. A seemingly normal teen. Made an orphan, but not by an accident. It was murder. What happens years down the line, when a cute boy catches her eye? Not everything is as it seems.. Warning- could be triggering. Swears included.
1. Chapter 1

-Larxene-

My dry, cracked lips pressed together tightly, my eyes clamped shut as I rock back and forth. As I grind my teeth together, pain shoots through my nerves but I grip onto it, whimpering. I clutch my face tightly, digging my nails in, my mind trying to stay conscious. I sit at the edge of a dark pit in my mind, but they're trying to push me in, my mind is trying to push me. I'm trying, trying to do anything I can to keep me awake, anything so I wont fade.. The world outside starts to disappear, it's only me, and my mind. But my mind is fading... I can feel myself slipping away... I cant, I promised I wouldn't, I promised him I wouldn't.. Why cant he be here to help me... no please no... I'm screaming inside my head, I cant fall into nothingness again... Black swamps my vision as I fall, falling deeper and deeper into oblivion... I have nothing to live for anymore... Slowly I'm dropping... Maybe I should just give-up. I'm losing this battle and this time I might as well just let it...

The pain evaporated, the very thing that made me lose myself was gone, that sickening emotional pain that killed me inside. The pain that was consuming my soul was gone. It left me barren, a broken shell once again, but I couldn't feel a thing. I had tried to run from this before, but now that I'm here... I'm now dangling... Something deep inside is making me want to hang on.

But what?

I laughed in my head, as I slowly start to forget... All my memories... I'm nothing now... The pain I've been through... Gone... But also the happiness... Everything spiralling into a dark pit as I slowly start to do the same, I can feel myself dropping into that hole, that pit, my fingers are just hanging of the side... I body washes over with a feeling of numbness. My body felt like it was shutting down. My eyelids started to droop.

What was the point of holding onto something that was gone, slipped through my fingertips? I cant remember what I lost...

All I can remember is...

Alex...

What is Alex...

Who am I...

I let go.

"Larxene!"

I could see a family... They looked vaguely familiar. The petite, young girl bounds across the vibrant green grass into what appears to be her mums arms, her long blonde hair shimmering in the light. The cool summer breeze swept through the air, making the palm trees above them sway softly. Small multi-coloured flowers popped up randomly across the lavish garden. Some of the flowers was imbedded in her hair, put into plaits, twisting and swirling around. The cheerful girl looked to be around 9, young but beautiful all the same. Her rosy cheeks accented her face, the same colour of her lips. She wore a pastel purple dress with matching sandals, her skin a light sandy colour. Her bright blue eyes glowed with happiness. She was laughing, the source coming from being tickled by her dad. It seemed like a perfect family. Her mum was graceful, beauty beyond compare. Her lips were tinted red, eyelashes long and elegant, covering her deep hazel eyes. She looked like a model; and had the body of one. Her dad was about four inches taller than her mum, his brown hair styled back as a big grin was plastered across his face. His eyes matched his daughters, glowing in the exact same way. He looked in adoration at his wife and daughter as they posed for the camera.

"Smile, Larxene!" The mother said to her daughter, as Larxene posed for the camera, pouting. Larxene... Why is that name so familiar?

Her dad walked over to the camera, looking happily at the digital print. The young girl squirmed out of her mums arms, skipping to her dad to look at the photo. She instantly grinned, taking the chunky camera and running to show her mum. The older woman bent down to look at the photo, smiling at her daughters enthusiasm.

"Look mummy!" The blonde jumped up and down excitedly, barely containing her happiness.

"You look beautiful" Her dad said to his wife, kissing her lightly on the cheek. A faint blush crept across her face as she lightly pushed him. Larxene made a disgusted face, much to the parents amusement.

"Ewww! Mummyyy!" She ran, giggling when she saw her parents close behind her. Her hair swished side to side as she ran around obstacles in the garden, making it into a game.

"Catch me! Catch me!" she giggled, running around the side of the house. She ran so quick that she couldn't see where she was going, but she didn't dare stop because she was having so much fun.

As she giggled in delight, she heard a scream from behind her. It sounded _scary. _Whirling around, she regretted she had as she saw her mum lying on the floor, eyes wide open in shock. Two puncture holes in her neck had thick crimson blood streaming from them. The young blonde whimpered, falling to the floor. Backing away from the corpse laying before her, she bumped into something, hard, but warm..

Turning around, she saw the mangled body of her dad twisted unnaturally. He had the exact same puncture wounds in his neck, but these were drained of blood. His face was a ghostly white, eyes dulled. Like his life had been _sucked_ out.

She let out a scream, trying to run but being tackled by somebody. As she stood frozen in shock, she looked at the strange man. He looked well kept, and smart. With a snarl, he opened his mouth to show dazzling white fangs.

That was the last thing I saw. The scene shattered, as memories rushed at me. But I could feel myself slipping..

Until heard my name, a clear shot through the dark. I slowly moved one foot, and I found myself running. That voice, the only one that could bring me back from the abyss.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer- I do not own Kingdom Hearts.**_

_**But if I did... oh boy. *YAOI;P***_

* * *

-Larxene-

-Six Years Earlier-

I screamed, sitting upright abruptly. My hands were gripping the bed sheets tightly, my breathing rapid, but slowed down as I looked around. I was in a bed, but not my own. Everything was white, apart from the various flowers on the desk and the baby blue sheets. The sun shone through a crack in the curtains, lighting up the room slightly. A young nurse rushed in, and looked at me stunned. She had long black hair, a white nurses hat sitting on top. A plain white pantsuit covered her body, surprisingly accenting her curves. Her green eyes stood out underneath her heavy black makeup. She ran out and came back in a few seconds later with what seems like a doctor. He had curly brown hair and looked older, around 40 or maybe older. The sides of his hair was tinged grey, making him seem wise. The man avoided my gaze, looking around awkwardly. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. After a few seconds I broke the silence, but as I tried to speak a whimpering sound came out. I stopped, my throat on fire. I felt like clawing at it, trying to get rid of the sudden intense pain running down my throat. After it died down a little, I took a deep breath.

"Where... a-am I?" I gasped, it barely a whisper. My voice was wavering, I had so many questions but I didn't know where to start... I frowned as I remembered the fangs.. Everything started to rush back and my head screamed in pain. My neck burned at the thought of those sharp things in my neck.. The last thing I could remember was pain.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Larxene but you fell into a coma. We didn't think you were going to awaken," He scratched the back of his head nervously. "You were under for two years."

I sat on the hospital bed, frozen in shock.

_Two years... stuck like this?_

_That would make me twelve..._

_Mum and dad..._

_They must be worried sick._

"What about m...mum? and dad?" My voice broke, a tear slipping out of the corner of my eye. _What if something happened to them?_ I could feel the panic rising through my throat as the doctor exchanged glances with the nurse. He then looked down, sorrow in his eyes.

"Larxene... Your mum and dad... unfortunately... got attacked my an rabid animal. Just like you did. We found you barely alive... But they were not so lucky. I am so sorry."

_What?! _

_No..._

_They're dead... It cant be..._

I bring my sore, weak knees up to my chest and sob. Loud, chest heaving cries. Tears stain my clothes as all the noise fades, leaving me enclosed in my own shell.

Completely alone.

I hardly noticed Aunt Kairi taking me to her house. They had arranged she would become my new guardian, as she was one of my only surviving relatives. She tried to make me comfortable by giving me loads of new stuff, but I just acted like a zombie, hardly responding to anything. The older woman was away on business most of the time, so she hired a live-in nanny for me. The nanny was also a ex-teacher, because she worried that I wouldn't be able to face school. She was right. I resorted to sitting my bedroom all the time, not bothering to go school. I slowly gave up on life, having my food taken up to my bedroom every night and eating alone, in silence. Sleep, eat, school, music. It was the same routine again and again. Eventually self harming became my refuge. I let out the feelings that I couldn't deal with, using a small piece of metal on the bathroom floor. I started weaning jumpers all the time, trying to hide anything that would cause a confrontation. I just gave up. I was nobody anymore. I never spoke. Just drowned my life in music. Sometimes I'd lock away in my mind, just sitting at the exact same place, gazing at nothing. I couldn't actually _see _anything, just black. An infinity of black. I wouldn't eat, speak, or even flinch. I once stayed like that for a week, only coming out of the trance when the nanny ripped my earphones out of my ear. I had a mental breakdown after, screaming and crying and breaking things. I begged her not to call a therapist, and she gave in. Nobody ever touched my headphones again.

Until a month after I turned 15, when Kairi came home for a couple months. After a few days of her being home I could sense her frustration. It was driving me crazy. She would force me to be downstairs all day. I was sitting on the furnished window-ledge one day when she decided to tell me _exactly _how I made her feel.

"Larxene! Its been nearly four years! You need to try and move on. Please? You're only hurting yourself here!"

_Oh god, you have no idea._

I simply answer by shaking my head. I stare blankly at the different coloured cars passing the window. One of my earphones dangled from my ear and I cranked the volume up, leaning my head against the wall. She angrily responded by ripping my earphones out and launching them across the room. They bounced off harmlessly, landing on the cream coloured couch. I just stared at her, she obviously not realizing what she just did.

"If you don't fucking get a grip I'm sending you back to school. Maybe then you'll do some work! Fucks sake.." Kairi stormed off. I ran and got my earphones before racing upstairs. I slammed the white wooden door behind me and sighed, sobbing in my arms. I quickly walked over to my cupboards, wiping my nose as the tears slid down my face. I yanked the fragile draw open, sending small items flying everywhere. In a rush, I found the thing I was searching for at the bottom.

A razorblade.

The small piece of metal shone in the sunlight, the sharp edge glittering. It wasn't just a flimsy piece of metal though. It helped me, in ways that nobody would ever understand.

My razors are my only friends. Its sad when the realisation that the things that cause you pain are the only things that are there for you. They offer support. They let you stay in control.

I drew it across my skin, small bubbles of blood forming. I craved the feeling, the rush of adrenaline from something that nobody would ever expect. I grabbed my earphones and carried on, losing myself as I slowly chip away at the fragile person left inside.

...

_User-Test_Subject019398_

_1% Complete._

* * *

_Reviews keep the updates coming! _

_So yeah._

_If you don't review ill stab you with a potato._

_Okay?_

_Okay._


	3. Chapter 3

-Larxene-

The next morning, I slowly walked down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. After the storming off yesterday, I hadn't talked to Aunt Kairi, and I didn't want to cause any more trouble. Unknowingly, I was clutching my arm, to which I flinched in pain. _Shit. _I pulled my the sleeves of my soft black jumper down. my earphones dangling from my ear. My hair was up, showing my small gauges. They were 10mm, the biggest Kairi would let me have after some persuading and arguing. They were dotted with white specs, with a middle finger sign sitting in the middle. My jumper was accompanied by black leggings and grey converse. I poured myself some cereal and sat down on the old wooden dining table, eating quietly.

No sooner did I regret it when Kairi threw a brochure in front of me. I scowled when I saw what was on it.

"School?" I muttered, looking through it. _This looks like utter crap. _

"And why do I have to go? Isn't Sylvia a teacher?" I questioned, as she poked her head through the door, flashing a smile. I ignored it, returning my gaze back to the person that is going to make my life utter hell. All them people... The thought made me shudder.

_Uniform too... eww._

"Please?" I begged, starting to panic. I couldn't go back to school.

The brunette just stood firm, ignoring my pleas.

"You start Monday." _Three fucking days?! "_Here's £50. I've already bought your uniform, so go get some school supplies or whatever. Whether you like it or not, you are going. You have to talk to some people sometime."

Two hours later, I returned, arms full of bags. It took me so long because the goddamn shopping centre is hard to navigate, plus I hadn't been there in around 3 years. I took them straight upstairs, happy with what I chose. After getting all the normal school supplies (Kairi gave me a list. A very specific one at that), I had around £30 left. I smiled for the first time in years.

It was time for a new start, wasn't it?

Three days later

I stood in the mirror, looking at the unfamiliar girl looking back. She didn't look anything like me... But I liked it for some reason. I felt the panic rise up my throat when I realized I had ten minutes left... Ten minutes... I started to hyperventilate. What was wrong with me? I haven't felt like this in ages...

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm my breathing. I checked my phone to see I only had two minutes. I started to count, hoping it would help me to calm down. I couldn't be a mess on my first day...

_1..._

I looked in the mirror, checking my clothes, hoping that it looked alright. I had black skinny jeans on (it was within the dress code- all they said was black trousers. What the hell can they do, rip them off?) with a black and white belt attached, with chunky black creepers on my feet. They had little skulls on the heels, intricate details making them look pretty awesome. I'd had them a year, but I hardly ever used them so they looked new.

_2..._

I wore a loose-ish white shirt, with a deep purple tie. The dress code was shit, but I found a way to... _Improvise_ on it. The mandatory blazer was black, which did suit to my tastes. The long sleeves were pushed up so my arms were showing, filled with bracelets. _Pierce The Veil... Bring Me The Horizon... Chelsea Grin.. _All my favourite bands were on my arms in a sense, and I was glad that Aunt Lilly went into the school and talked about my earphone rule. I haven't taken it off in two years, and I wasn't planning to. _Not for some stuck up teachers._

_3..._

Around my neck, I had a necklace with a pentagram on it, a tiny blue stone encrusted in the middle. It caught the light and shone to match the blue of my eyes.

_4..._

Pushing my hair back, I straightened it out and admired the colour. I bleached my hair white, then I dyed it light pink- some white bits were left behind but it looked good. The hair was lightly wavy, and was nearly as long as my upper stomach, soft and silky.

_3..._

I had put makeup on for the first time, ever, with help from videos teaching me how to. I had black eyeliner on, with tiny flicks at the end. Mascara accented my lashes, and a nude lipstick coated my lips. I had a bunch of tiny freckles on my nose, which for some reason only made my eyes stand out more.

_2..._

I pulled my hair away and gazed at my neck... Two faint dots were sitting there, a reminder of that day that I wanted to forget so badly. They tingled as I brushed my fingers over them, a tiny bump on each that was slightly painful. _Animal attack? Bull-fucking-shit. Something bit me that day, and killed my parents._ I remember the man clearly, even now. His eyes were fully black. I wasn't dumb. I knew what that _thing_ was.

_1..._

A vampire.

I hurried out of the bathroom, grabbing my small, plain black backpack and walking out of the door. I decided to walk there as I had been shown the route. Anything to lessen my contact with anyone. But it really was inevitable. I sighed, seeing other people walking. _I haven't seen anybody younger than Kairi and Sylvia in three years... What am I supposed to do? I've only talked to people online, but that was only when I got really lonely. What if they don't like me? Well, I guess it'll be a reason to drop out._

I walked up to the school, admiring it. It was a big building, with a modern look. Grass stretched for miles, various people sitting down. There were people walking all around me, but I didn't notice them. I was deep in thought.

_I guess... I have to try right? For Mum and Dad..._

_I love you. And one day I will find out what happened to you. I will get answers._

_Cross my heart and hope to die._

* * *

_**Review and Follow ^.^**_


	4. Chapter 4

I sat in a teachers office, looking around. Various picture frames of people were dotted across the desk, all different sizes and ages. I sat in silence, the ebony clock on the wall ticking annoyingly. I sighed, closing my eyes. I felt _scared. _I had no idea what school would be like; I missed six years. Six years of attitudes, growing up, six years of learning that I had completely no idea of. What if everyone picked on me? I looked at my arms, making sure all the scars were covered. That'd get me extra attention for sure- and attention I didn't want.

I snapped out of my daze when the teacher returned to the room, smiling when she saw me. I half-smiled back, not really knowing what to say. My iPod's playlist continued, blaring a familiar Skillet song.

"So... Larxene..." She started, before I interrupted.

"Its Larx-scene. Not Larx-en." I stated, annoyed that every fucking single person pronounced it wrong. I already disliked this teacher. Its bad enough that I didn't want to be here.

"Erm.. Sorry" She mumbled, obviously at loss for words. I guess that Kairi said I didn't speak much. She shifted through a couple pieces of paper, before handing me one. It had subjects, with what I guess room numbers, underneath each.

"That's your timetable." _No fucking shit. I thought it was an iPad. _"I put you in the same classes as a girl called Vicky. She will show you the ropes here at Kingdom High. She is a very nice girl, but can be.. a troublemaker. I think that you two will get on quite well." She finished with a smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned with a smirk, cocking my eyebrow upwards. _I never knew it would be so fun messing with teachers. _She sighed in response, standing up.

"Vicky is waiting outside. She will show you around."

I step outside her office, a smile playing on my lips. The door instantly slammed behind me, and I chuckled in response. The girl, probably Vicky, stood up at the sight of me. She has copper hair, pulled up into pigtails. Her green eyes, deep and different shades, almost like a forest in her eyes, were accented by thick lashes. They almost looked like they were hiding something. Her lips were plump and coated with red lipstick, and she had a tight shirt on, making her boobs nearly pop out of her chest. She was wearing a short skirt, and looked slightly slutty.

But hey, I wasn't one to judge.

"Well, they actually got someone decent this time." Vicky drawled, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against her arm.

"My names Vicky. Don't be fooled by my appearance- if any guy even touches you, just let me know. I can rip his balls off before he can even think twice."

I giggle, deciding that I like this girl. And I thought it would be hard starting school.

"Well, that's good information to know. My names Larxene. Show me the way to.. Art?" I raised my eyebrow, looking at her. "You draw?"

"Well yes!" Vicky smiled, her perfectly white teeth glistening. "I love everything to do with art. I can express myself. Everyone seems to be surprised that a girl like me likes that sort of thing." She winked, walking away. I had to agree, she doesn't look like the sort of girl that would be.. _artistic._

"Well, come on! Art is the only lesson I actually don't like to be late for. Plus, Mrs. Reily would chop my head off if I made the new student late. She acts like she's on her period _all the time._"

I smirked as I followed her. My clunky black creepers seemed massive compared to her flat black slip-ons, and I'm pretty surprised she hadn't mentioned anything about how different I looked from her. I was all dark while she was... happy, pretty, and looked like she was really popular. I was surprised I found it easy to talk to Vicky- normally I just kept to myself. I half expected to just be alone, but I guess fate had better plans for me for once.

I sigh, stepping into the corridor with Vicky.

_Here we go..._

_No turning back now._

"Oh, and rad ear gauges! I tried stretching my ears but my mum kinda ripped them out. I think they look so awesome. You're lucky the school isn't so strict on their uniforms, y'know. I guess they just like to let you express yourself. And that's something you seem to like to do!" The strawberry-blonde girl winked at me, as I smiled back in gratitude. Vicky just carried on, popping a red lollipop in her mouth. She was bouncing as she walked, her high pigtails swinging up and down. She was a type of girl that had it and wasn't afraid to flaunt it. And boy, _did she have it._ Vicky looked like she was the type of person everybody wanted to be, and she wasn't an evil little bitch either. _I hope._ From the impression she gave me, she was nice- but even the nicest people can be the ones that stab you in the back.

Everyone that we pass seems to show their own sense of style- from the orange-tinted popular girls with the stuffed bras to the quiet, bookworms filled with fandom-related badges. Most of the guys seemed pretty hot, but the type of hot that they know that they're hot- and they use it to their advantage. As we pass a cupboard, I see a glimpse of a heavy make out session between what looked like an orangutan and a underage man. I defiantly saw some hand-to-boob action there. _Lucky guy._

After a couple minutes of silence, we get to the Art lesson, it seems surprisingly chilled. Vicky introduced me to the teacher as I took a minute to look around the classroom. It was filled with hundreds of paintings, drawings, 3D models and sculptures. There weren't desks either- people were drawing on the floor, on makeshift sofas, even outside.

"So, Larxene, do you draw?" A question from the teacher makes me jump, as two sets of eyes look at mine. I look away, shrugging.

"A little. Mainly people." I mumble, looking back at the teacher. He smiles, motioning to take a seat.

"Sit anywhere. Creativity isn't found at a desk- its found when you are relaxed! Vicky can take you through what she's been working on and maybe you can find a little inspiration from her. Lesson ends at lunch, which is in two hours. Have fun." The brown haired teacher returned to his desk, working on a sculpture. Vicky instantly bounces off, leaving me to follow her. After a small amount of time, the girl had reached a greenhouse of sorts, chairs and sofas dotted around inside. It was small in size, but could hold around ten people. As I step in, the one person sitting inside catches my attention.

He is... _gorgeous._

The guy has black hair, stopping right before his eyes. His skin is a creamy colour, no imperfections to be found. He has perfectly tinted lips, squeezed together as he works. But what really catches me off guard was when he looks up at me.

He had the most amazing blue eyes. They almost match mine, just a little shade darker.

"Welcome to Kingdom High. Where the food is shit, and the guys are fit." Vicky whispers in my ear seductively. All I can think of right now is... _wow._


End file.
